Lately, I find myself seduced by bugs.
On the one hand, they’re so, so ugly.
So disgusting.
I don’t want them anywhere near me.
And yet, I can’t get close enough.
I want to examine them. Study their intricacies. See how they’re made. Gaze into their eyes.
I’m fascinated by their beauty. By the very clear and intentional design of their wings, their backs, their stingers.
Who made bugs so beautiful and so ugly at the same time?
I often ask myself the same question about religion:
Who made religion so beautiful and so ugly at the same time?
Who made it so I could find solace and comfort in prayer and community, while at the same time feel so ashamed at the behavior of my community leaders and fellow members?
Who made religion so beautiful and so ugly at the same time?
Who made it so I could be so energized and enlightened by religious texts, and so confused and hurt by their antiquated, yet still upheld laws?
Who?
Who made it so beautiful?
So ugly?
At the same time?
And, perhaps the better question is why…
What purpose does this dichotomy serve?
and yadda yadda, an aliyah blog 
I have the same relationship to bugs as you. I’m repelled and fascinated at the same time. Religion. There’s a Pandora’s box to be sure
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Pandora’s Box, definitely. And yet, this has been my relationship to religion since I was 13. Intrigued and engaged, sometimes. And then angry and resentful by what I see as hypocrisy. I think I am far from alone in my thinking… Though you couldn’t tell from the comments here. LOL!
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I like bugs – some of them, anyway. Some bugs are beautiful. I’d just prefer them to steer clear of me and my flat, a-thank-you-very-much. And, er, it’s kind of evolution that shapes creatures and the way they are. They are adapted, over millions of years, to suit their environment. It’s scientifically proven – it’s only humans who view these creatures as “ugly” or “beautiful”.
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